It usually follows a pattern
Grooming tends to move through recognisable stages. Naming them takes away some of their power.
- Friendship and attention — lots of interest, flattery, shared jokes, feeling specially understood.
- Secrecy — 'this is just between us,' nudging the child to hide the contact from you.
- Isolation and dependence — becoming the person the child trusts most, often by undermining others.
- Crossing a line — steering toward images, a private app, a meeting, or money, often framed as normal.
What raises a flag
You rarely see the chat itself, so watch for changes around it.
- A new 'friend' your child is suddenly close to but vague about.
- Secrecy about a device, or quickly switching screens.
- Mood swings tied to being online, or new things — gifts, credit, account top-ups — you didn't provide.
- Pressure to move to a private app like a DM or a chat that disappears.
How Murphee and you work together
Murphee enforces browsing boundaries and can notify you when it blocks a page. It does not currently monitor private conversations or automatically detect grooming, coercion or other contact patterns.
Talk with your child about unfamiliar contacts and changes in behaviour. Website filtering cannot establish whether a person contacting them is trustworthy.
If you're worried right now
Lead with calm and curiosity, not blame — a child who feels in trouble goes quiet. Ask who they've been talking to and how it's felt.
If there are threats, requests for images, or any sign a meeting is being arranged, preserve what you can and report it. In the UK that's CEOP at ceop.police.uk; if a child is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.